Monday, March 21, 2011

Alright... WTH is wrong with me?

This is not another boohoo post. I'm seriously annoyed with my emotions right now.

I've been crying a lot lately. Nearly every day for the last week. His next D is coming up very quickly, but I've never been this emotional before. Never ever ever. I have of course had my share of tear-fests at the actual time of 'goodbye'. But, never in the weeks leading up to it. 

I'm starting to think it has nothing to do with him leaving. I think I might just be getting tired of being apart all the time. I'm not sad in general. I think being apart is just getting really old, seriously inconvenient, and kinda frustrating. (For those of you joining me in the middle of this story, in order to keep my job that I love and pays well/pay off debt/be financially on top of things when he's done/afford dancing/various other reasons, we live 3 hours apart and only see each other on the weekends... most of the time... for only half the year... the other half he is underwater...)
Anyway, this crying thing is really bugging me. On my drive back home this weekend. I cried when we said goodbye, which I haven't done in a long time from just a weekend goodbye. I cried to the first song I heard on my ipod. And then another one when i was almost home. I was feeling fine, too. I was just singing along and then the lyrics said one little thing and there I went again. Then last night, i was watching some sitcom... there I went again, then the end of some old peter pan movie (not Hook, but live action), crying some more! Seriously?! Little miss wet cheeks over here. 

I'm gonna go ahead a try to blame PMS, cause this is getting ridiculous. It's not that I'm sad all the time. Just the typical pre-D blahsies. Just so many stupid things have been setting me off lately and I'm really tired of it. I mean the last time, I didn't even feel that sad, the tears just started coming out of my eyes and I remember thinking, "Really? Again!?"

And before anyone asks, no... I am not pregnant. 110% sure. Thus the PMS.

*jumps up and down spinning in circles* 
Happy Happy! Come on happy. Tears, knock it off wouldja!


  1. Aww I think sometimes you have to cry even if it is over "ridiculous" things. No joke, I've cried about being out of mayo before. lol. Tears just want to flow sometimes. These crying for no reason days will come to an end though. Stay strong! (which you sound very very much like you are)
    You should cheer yourself up and enter my Starbucks gift card giveaway! :)

  2. awwwww mrs ducky.... I wish i could squeeze you. I suppose it doesn't help any for me to say that... I kind of always imagined this time in our relationship being in fast forward - if that makes sense. It seems to be playing out slower than any part of my life for various reasons, but maybe every moment in life feels that way. I get emotional too, a movie on the boat almost made me bust up a little myself.

    The one thing that kind of helps me -and i never thought i would say this- is how beautiful it is in a way to feel that gravity, that pain just because we are apart from each other. It reminds me how much i love you, makes me think of how much you love me and somehow it reminds me, though it is painful of how complicated life is. And though i would take you being closer any minute of the day... I dunno... Maybe it doesn't make sense. But I love that i feel that, it lets me know that i can feel, how much i can feel and it makes me smile to know that i feel all that emotion towards you. You.


  3. Aww, I think we all have times like that. I even get it when I'm with the Mr. and there isn't an impending D. I think unfortunately it's just an unfortunate side effect of having strong emotions lol.