ok, as promised, a real update. It's long. I usually don't write this much but there is much to talk about.
Monkey is officially off on his next grand undersea adventure. *sigh* Which is why I haven't been blogging much. All I've had to talk about revolved around him getting ready to leave. I was a busy busy bee running around getting him ready, while secretly putting together his halfway box (hopefully next post), HoneyGrams - which are an awesome fundraiser our FRG puts together to arrange for hand written notes to be delivered on specified dates (he's on a sub, they don't get mail), and his boat blanket.
The last two weekends I spent helping him sort 3 months worth of vitamins and supplements into individual baggies. And then packing up his barracks since he's being forced out of Geo-bach. He has a place for his stuff but not a place to live when he gets back. The place he was going to live fell through at the last minute. He has another friend and his wife who are interested so hopefully that get's panned out during the underway.
We thought that the weekend before last (the one spent moving him until 3:30 in the morning) was his last weekend, but then things got pushed out. Which turned out to be an excellent thing! If he had left when he was supposed to and my last weekend with him was spent just packing and moving, I would not be doing as well as I am now. Because, save for a small meltdown in the Wal-mart parking lot, we had an excellent last weekend. I was able to get in some really good quality Monkey time and get a real goodbye instead of the 45 second one I got the weekend before because he was running late to get to duty turnover. (I was not happy about that).
Right now I am feeling a lot better than anticipated. I had hoped to make it at least through the weekend before the icky feeling set in. But, I actually thought it would take... eehhhh... two days. But, I'm feeling pretty ok right now. I mean, I definitely miss him like crazy, but I'm handling it MUCH better than last time. I think I'm getting used to this. Also, I started taking more supplements for my mood and focus, and I think that is really helping, too.
I made a rule for all of my friends this time. I call it the "no pity" rule. Note, that there is a different between pity and compassion. They are most definitely allowed to care, and recognize that I may be sad some days and will need some support. But, they must follow these two simple rules. NO pouty faces in attempted empathy. NO responses such as "that sucks", "I'm sorry", or "I could never do that". I do not need to be reminded that deployments suck. What I need is; support and distraction. In general I'm just really tired of the pouty face reaction to "My husband just left." or similar/related statements. it's just so unhelpful and often presumptuous of my feeling at the time. Instead, I just ask that they say things like, "You are strong, you can do this.", "Let's go out"(and mean it). "How are you feeling?"(Listen to and care about my answer) I have a couple of friends who are doing a very good job with this and it's also helping a lot.
I know that the first weekend is always the toughest for me. It's always when I'll have the first completely unplanned day and I end up sleeping in way too late, I never get dressed, and don't leave the house. Then about 6pm I start to feel really lame that I just sat around and moped all day. So, my friend volunteered a girls weekend. She's been going through some of her own personal drama so we can both use the distraction.
So, this weekend we have scheduled: Saturday night - salsa dancing and a sleepover, Sunday - PJ breakfast then pedicures. Friday night I will be cleaning my poor neglected home. I've been meaning to do it for weeks but then ended up driving up to Bangor because he wasn't able to come down. Saturday during the day I need to go to Ross or some place inexpensive and find something to wear salsa dancing.
Other than that I'm getting back to "gym-rat" status again. That's 2-3 hours a night, 4 days a week at the gym. I'll be working on my jiu jitsu, muay thai, and maybe adding Saturdays and getting back to Capoeira. And, I get to start my guitar lessons soon, too. There is one other thing that I will be doing as well, but that's for another post. This one is getting long enough.
See, I said this would be a real update! Here's hoping that this good mood lasts as long as possible. I know that I will eventually, at some point, break down. I think it would be unhealthy if I didn't. But, I'm gonna stay happy as long as happy'll have me. And when I do break down, I've got my friends well educated on how to pick me back up again. I think I'm set. Deployment, I'm so ready for you!!! Uh, mostly. I think. I hope. Fingers crossed, anyway. :)