Friday, January 29, 2010

Halfaversary: Caution - Contains ushy gushy mushy stuff.

Today is our Halfaversary! That's right, we have been married six months! 

A few weeks ago as I was searching intensely for the perfect halfaversary gift and asking friends and family for suggestions, i kept getting the same response which puzzled me. "It's only six months", they'd say. "You don't need to get him a gift." 
But I do! This is huge! This is momentous! I guess, at least, it is for us. I forget that most around me don't live like this. I forget everything that led up to this. I forget the drama that we've left behind, and somehow forget that we're still living it. But, now, it doesn't seem like it so much. This has become our normal. While everyone else gets to go home and eat dinner with their loved ones, watch TV, go to the gym, do chores, run errands - Together. We can't do that. Yet, for the most part, we are content with it. 
I suppose we've never really had that to begin with, so perhaps we don't have anything to miss. But, also, it's just that we are so happy to have each other that the other stuff can wait for now. It will come.
Don't get me wrong, we are painfully aware of what's missing. We feel it every day. We sit on the web cam content for the moment to "be together". Inevitably, someone will say something sweet or we'll get excited about something that happened that day, and with the urge to reciprocate the emotion we get side railed with the reminder that we're so far apart. "I want to kiss him" I think to myself. "He looks so cute right now". This is marked outwardly with a long sigh behind and semi-fained smile. He asks what's wrong. I say, "Nothing. I just love you." He says "I kissa you!" I "..kissa you too!", and we move on. When we say goodnight and he clicks that button to close the chat window there is always the mixed emotion of sadness and happiness. Sad, for obvious reasons. But happy because all the while I know that the sadness comes from the fact that I miss him so much, which comes from the fact that I love him so much! I know that he loves me that much back. Just that thought makes all the sadness go away, for the time being. 

I know, I still haven't made my point. Here is my point. We know what we've gotten ourselves into. We know it all happened so fast. We know the circumstances that led to all this. And we know that those things don't set up any relationship, much less a marriage for anything good. And not even considering those things, divorce rates in the Navy just happen to be the highest of any branch of the military. Considering everything: the distance, the timeframe, the Navy, everything... we are rock solid. And we love that! No matter how much we stare into a web cam and sorrowfully state "This sucks! I miss you!", we have no regrets, no hesitations, no doubt that we're gonna make it. And quite possibly be better for it. 

This is why I get so excited about 'just six months'. It's not because we made it six months. It's not just because it's one of our first anniversaries of any kind. It's because it's a landmark. It's six months of being married to the most amazing person I could imagine being with. This person who almost left my life forever but fought for me. Who I can look at every day (even if only in a picture) and realize what his being in my life has done for me. How happy he's made me and knowing how happy he is going to make me. It's the fact that through everything that has happened and despite our current living situation, and knowing everything that is to come over the next 4 years and that it's not going to get any easier, we are not only still here, but we are amazing!!! And THAT is worth celebrating!

So, today, is our halfaversary. Happy Halfaversary babe! I love you so much.


  1. Awwww Ducky... *squeezes* I love you so much! Happy halfaversary.

    *sigh* Miss you

  2. That was a great post Katrina. Very touching. I am very happy you and B found each other and am excited for your future! Stay strong for each other.

    Happy Halfaversary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    /drinks /salutes


  3. OK, the tears have stopped now so I can post a comment. I think both of you are amazing and I am glad you have eachother. If any two people can make this work it is you guys. And I say celebrate every momentus moment your heart wants to celebrate. As long as you guys celebrate eachother and the love that you share and appreciate what you have even through the distance and the 'suckiness' of the situation, you cant go wrong.